Silver Grenades and Nail Polish
by metalbiatch
Summary: A series of unrelated outtakes from Seasons 1 and 2.


Disclaimer - I do not own TSCC or any part of the Terminator series.

A/N - In case any of you don't know, Kaci is approximately 8 months pregnant. Thanks so much to Tin Miss and Tearlit for looking this over for me! You should check out their stories! Please review!

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John walked in through the door, Cameron following behind him. "We have returned," she announced. "With watermelon." She lifted up the large oblong of green, emphasizing her point.

Derek sighed, glaring at the cyborg.

"They get it, Cam," John muttered, trying to direct her towards the kitchen.

She did not follow him, however, as she had spotted Sarah sitting on the couch beside Kaci. The two women were speaking in mild tones, smiling occasionally. Approximately every other word, Sarah would glance at Kaci's enlarged stomach.

Cameron frowned, tilting her head to one side.

She began to look from the watermelon to Kaci's stomach and back again, gauging the size of the two and comparing them. The girl stepped closer to John.

"John? I have heard that if one swallows a watermelon seed it will grow in your stomach. Is this why Kaci is so deformed? Has she swallowed a seed?"

John rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. She always did this. He reached out to take the watermelon from Cameron and tell her off for asking stupid questions when he paused suddenly. Frowning, not unlike Cameron before, he took in the size and shape of the melon. He glanced at Kaci, a moment later back at the melon and then again to Kaci. Finally he looked up at Cameron.

"I dunno." he muttered. "She might have swallowed two…"

Her eyes widened and she stepped backwards, clutching the melon tightly. Her gaze locked on the stomach again before her hand shot out and she grabbed John's arm in a vice like grip, pulling him away.

"What are you doing?"

"You must get away, John. She is a threat. Her abdominal cavity is not capable of expanding large enough to hold two watermelons. She is growing at the rate of .25 centimeters per second and could explode at any moment - when she does you must not be in the way."

John tried to wriggle out of her grasp, glancing over his shoulder at Sarah and Kaci whom had apparently missed the better part of the conversation -- thank god for small favors -- but were staring curiously - or suspiciously in Sarah's case - at the two teens.

"Cameron!" he hissed. "Cam, knock it off."

"Flying watermelons could become deadly projectiles."

"Flying watermelons?" Kaci asked, lurching laboriously to her feet.

Cameron's eyes grew even wider and she strode toward the kitchen, pulling John hard enough that he stumbled. John gave up trying to resist and as he was towed through the doorway he saw his mother attempting to appease Kaci.

She released him once they were in the kitchen and pulled out two knives.

"We must de-seed the fruit. If you swallowed any of the seeds and they grew your survival would be decreased by 27."

John sighed and debated whether or not he really wanted to go through the complexity that was Cameron's mind -- or chip, or whatever -- and try to explain that he had been kidding. Ultimately, he decided against it and just nodded. "Okay, Cam," he agreed in defeat, taking the proffered knife. "I'll help you." He could hear what sounded very much like his mother trying to reassure Kaci - this was followed by the closing of the front door and he winced slightly, even though it was still quiet and calm.

Kaci had left and, judging from the look his mother had sent him back there, she was about to do something brash. Like pull her gun. He glanced at Cameron. Like pull her gun on _Cameron_, he corrected himself. And sure enough, she stormed into the kitchen, gun in hand.

"What the hell was that?"

Cameron blinked at her as she methodically removed the seeds. "I was protecting John. When Kaci explodes the watermelon in her stomach could be shot several feet across the room. This poses a health hazard and compromises my mission."

Sarah just stared at her. "When she...explodes?" she asked. "John! What did you tell her?"

"Nothing," he replied, turning his attention to the watermelon.

"I asked John if she swallowed a seed. He said she swallowed two. Her stomach will not hold two watermelons."

John winced again, ever so briefly, and turned his head to glare at Cameron, gritting his teeth in the process.

"John Connor!" his mother admonished, livid. "She is pregnant! Not a walking…watermelon time bomb!"

"Mom, it was just a joke!" he attempted to explain, but once again Cam had perfect timing.

"Then why are you assisting me in the removal of seeds?"

"Cameron, stop helping," John insisted pointedly.

Derek took that moment to walk into the kitchen for a glass of water. Seemingly oblivious to the commotion taking place there - or perhaps simply hoping that Sarah was actually going to use that gun for once - he gulped down his water and placed his glass on the counter. With that he made to leave, but not before pausing at the counter and taking a chunk out of the watermelon. He left, munching on the piece of fruit.

When he had disappeared around the corner, Cameron placed her knife down on the counter and turned to leave the room. Both John and Sarah took a break from their spat to stare at her.

"What are you doing, Cameron?" John asked her, confused.

She turned to stare at him calmly. "I have finished. Derek consumed the only piece that still contained seeds. He must now be terminated. If he exploded, as Kaci soon will, he has a 74 greater chance of harming you in the process."

She then continued from the room and Sarah sighed, laying her gun down. "_You_ get to fix this one."

"Next time, we're getting seedless watermelon."


End file.
